I Loved You Once Before
by Evie Antorcha
Summary: COMPLETE! At 17, Stan begins to have disturbing dreams about him and Kyle. Unaware to Stan, his dream carries events that establish their relationship they have, and 'once' had. Slash Stan/Kyle
1. Subconscious Excursion

A/N: Hey everyone this is my first South Park fic ever…I'm super cereal.

I wanted to do this for a while but didn't bother too much with it until recently. I was inspired to do this from AFI's "Love Like Winter" and the many Stan/Kyle fics I came across reading. (I suggest you listen to the song its really good, at least I think so.) I was going to make this into a song fic, but I then I decided not to. Enjoy and please R&R! it would completely make my day.

Oh, and note this will be in Stan's POV and the boys are 17 years old in high school and all that fun stuff.

I'm also planning not to make this story too long depending on where I take it. Updating will also take me a while considering finals consumes most of my free time. And sorry if there is any grammar mistakes I tend not to catch them thoroughly. Thanks!

Evie (Havana girl)

_Warn your warmth to turn away, here its December everyday_

_Press your lips to the sculptors and surly you'll stay. (Love like winter)_

_For of sugar and ice I am made, I am made_

_Its in the blood, its in the blood, I met my love before I was born,_

_It's in the blood, I taste of blood, he bit my lip and drank my war_

_From years before, from years before…_

_AFI: Love Like Winter_

"I Loved You Once Before"

It was a eerie late night, snow drifted softly as I was hurriedly running through this empty street, my lungs felt as if there were going to explode and my legs lit on fire, muscles achingly burning. The area appeared residential, the street contained this blackness tone, it possessed a low-spirited feel among the area, becoming incredulous that anyone would attempt to live here. Small homes that were built rather differently then the average home sat on either side of me along the aged jet black street, not one house light was on. The lamp posts that lined the block were black and… different; almost Colonial inspired. I needed someone's help, anyone! but I knew I didn't have time to bother with the effort. I grew anxious, my heart pounded so hard I can hear every beat penetrating my ears.

Why was I running?

Actually, who was I running from? Where am I? I don't know this area. But, at the same time I'm receiving a sense of familiarity with the neighborhood?

I suddenly realize someone is chasing me! I don't know who but their after me. I know for fact their hunting me down. I sprint into a dark alley in attempt to loose the three men.

Three?

How do I know specifically, three men?

I continued to quickly run down the alley with extensive speed, I sadly come face to face with a dead end. I cursed under my breath as I stared at the colossal brick wall separating me from the secure safety of the other side. I immediately panic, nervously rubbing my sweaty palms against my black pants.

I abruptly hear soft weeping coming from the corner of the alley. My attention diverts to that corner and I cautiously walk towards the sniffled sounds, gradually getting louder with each passing step. The sounds appeared to be hidden within the clutter of garbage cans. I carefully peek my way through the myriad of trash cans and bags. I hoped on everything I loved that it wasn't a child. God forbid its an innocent child hiding out during the bitter coldness of night.

The fearful thoughts of the three men soon departed my mind. I traced my attention to the grieving stranger hoping I can be of help. I maneuver one foul trash can as quiet as possible, as I move the first can the crying stranger comes into a complete silence.

I instantly felt the tension growing thick into the air. I suddenly couldn't move an inch of my body as if I was possessed by something from the realms of the unknown. I stood still, aching for something to happen.

I hear the trash cans slightly shift with the persons movements. I finally come eye to eye with the stranger. My heart stops, and I felt every ounce of breath escape my lungs.

I trembled "Kyle?…"

Tears of joy poured down his face which prompt me to shed tears with him. I immediately embraced him tightly, a rush of warmth and protection rushed through me as I held Kyle close. I hear him softly cry onto my shoulder murmuring something I couldn't quite make out. I gently rubbed his back attempting to subside the trembling waves occurring through his back. I must say, I never witnessed him so vulnerable.

Kyle fairly composed himself eventually and faced me. "There gonna get us." Kyle managed to stutter.

"What?" I was puzzled from his statement, faintly shaking my head from bewilderment.

He knitted his brows with rage "Those bloody fucks, their threatening to _kill_ us!" Kyle harshly whispered.

Bloody?… He never used--

Wait, the men, the three men immediately returned back to my mind. I forgot all about them.

With no hesitation, Kyle interlaced his hand with my own and hastily leads me with quiet feet away from the alley and back into the dangers of the residential street. A strong sensation surged through me when his hand met mine. Why is he holding my hand like this? Odd sensations and fear took an overwhelming take to my senses

"What the hell are you thinking? We cant go back there!" I grimaced and impulsively stop at my tracks causing Kyle to pause with me.

He released a low exhausted sigh "I know, but we have no choice, we either risk getting our asses beat being out here all night, or we can be in the safety of my home." Kyle sincerely ran his fingers through my jet black hair with worried tormented eyes. I can see clearly through the distress his eyes carried and into the exquisiteness his eyes truly possessed A beautiful sensation rushed through me once again, I can see he's silently pressuring me with his look.

I looked at him with a pleaded gaze. "…Kyle" I murmured, my conscious mind beginning to realize the fascination I hold dear with him. "We can't go back there, their gonna find us. Trust me" I finally manage to choke out.

Kyle gazed into my eyes for a moment and acquiesced much to my relief. " Alright, we'll stay here hidden for a while and then we'll go to my house after some time." he reluctantly finished.

As we returned to the peculiar depths of the alley, we hear many shuffling footsteps echo our way from the street not far from us. We both slightly panic and dashed into the dark corner occupied by the trash cans where Kyle was previously hiding. I tumble down onto the many garbage cans along with Kyle hoping the clatter wasn't legible to those bastards. The horrible smell of rotten half eaten foods and the mere appalling contents people throw away took a heavy toll on my senses. Kyle was right beside me, holding on to me close, as if his life depended on it.

At this position, I can almost believe it.

We hear the familiar foot steps passing by on the street, the echo's of muffled grunts and running feet gradually fade from the air and I experienced the light feeling of utter relief.

Which only lasted a beautiful moment.

"Hey, they probably ran off in here!" One of the men shouted in some sort of thick dialect.

Kyle's breath ceased along with mine. I looked over to Kyle with blood shot eyes due to the lack of sleep and apprehension that settled in my eyes. We hear the foot steps getting heaver with every passing moment. My heart pounded much greater than before, and Kyle clutches onto me tighter, his breath held in.

"Well, look at the two dick suckers"

As I take sight of the three guys courage musters inside me. _Why the fuck am I so scared of these guys they don't even look that violent. _I thought to myself. However, Kyle was way ahead of me.

After a brief moment, Kyle shot up and punched one of the guys closest to us square on the jaw. The man harshly winced and covered his potentially broken jaw with a tense hand. I slightly recoil from Kyle's impressive strike for a slim moment which only motivated me to hastily get up and attack the other man beside him too.

I punched him multiple times across his foolish face with enraged fists. I nearly lost it for a while, something I'm unfamiliar with saturated through me and I couldn't stop. I received this unnerving rush of ecstasy from the pain I was causing this person. Finally, spurts of blood flew out his mouth and gravity took its place as he hit the concrete floor with a hard "thud". The third man merely stood there, shock leading his every thought. I headed towards him, heavily breathing. I can almost smell the fear pouring out of him. The bubbling rage I possessed continued to boil deep within my stomach. I approached the last and sadly unfortunate man callously, daring him to make a move.

"Ah!" I hear Kyle yelp in pain.

I instantly turn around, my insides twisted and my throat clenched. There was Kyle, his mouth ajar with wide eyes and a six inch knife sticking out of the sensitive side of his abdomen.

The man who stabbed him backed off and savored Kyle's suffering. I sprinted to Kyle, fated tears rushed down my face and I caught him right before he collapsed I adjusted to ground while Kyle's limp weight rested my trembling arms.

"YOU SICK FUCKING BASTARDS! YOU FUCKING STABBED HIM.! YOU FUCKING STABBED HIM!" I shouted, spiting out everything that came to my tormented mind. My vision becomes distorted from the inevitable tears coating my eyes. I held Kyle close to my body, weeping into his chest.

I gradually lift my head away from his chest and look into his heavily strained face, into his beautiful eyes that now read death.

I slowly traced my fingers on the beautiful outline of his face, skeptical to what just happened. I noticed a couple of my tears fell onto his cheek and descended his alabaster skin, as if those tears belonged to him, as though he's grieving with me although his soul may have departed his body. He didn't move not a mere flitch. I was lost, and I step out the sphere of reality.

I slowly lean in, allowing my tormented mind lead my every move and kissed his pale lips onto my trembling ones tasting this warm thick liquid that now slowly leaked out his mouth.

Blood…

I don't sense any messages from Kyle's body signaling me he's may be alive. Blood seeps onto my lips and onto the floor into a forming puddle from the wound. I continue to wail into chest, hoping his soul will return from its absence. I continue holding him, rocking him, hoping false hope.

"I love you Kyle… I love you so much, so fucking much." I manage to choke through tears.

I grieved into his chest of what felt like an eternity, my vision suddenly blurs and I believe to have lost consciousness, the sensation never felt so…pleasant.

…

"AH!" I wake up in a heavy sweat, scurrying my hands over my trembling body in a panic. I instinctively put my hand to the back of my neck, rubbing it discontentedly trying to ease the unexplained sharp pain that settled there.

"What the fuck?" I murmured. barley hearing my self utter the words. Relief comes to me as my conscious mind realizes I'm in the safety of my room.

I plop back down on my bed still flabbergasted from the dream, feeling the harsh pain originating from the back of my neck disappear with a tingle. I roll my head over and look at my digital alarm clock.

"Jesus Christ… 4:23" I let out a frustrated sigh. I grasp one of the many pillows and cover my face in hopes to get a couple of more hours of peaceful sleep before school.

Much to my dismay, I didn't fall asleep for the next hour. My mind continued to spin with the events of my dream, so vividly replaying over and over in my head. The dramatic images felt so real, Kyle felt so real, everything felt so tangible.

Maybe it was nothing, it could have been one of those dreams that everything felt like it was truly happening when in retrospect it meant absolutely nothing like any other random dream. People all over the world have wild dreams that doesn't mean anything, its only your sleeping mind taking an intense acid trip of its very own.

However, something deeper in me told me otherwise. Something endlessly kept picking at me that the my dream held a meaning. A small voice in my head was telling me there is something I should know, to be aware of.

I freeze for a moment I grasp the sudden urge to call Kyle. To tell him-

To tell him what? About this ridiculous fag dream I just had? Just so he can rip on me about some stupid dream that I believe may hold some kind of "meaning?"

I don't fucking think so.

I finally dozed off after excessive over analyzing and mental exhaustion. The final thought that occurred to me before I officially fell asleep hit me fiercely, an overwhelming epiphany much to my discomfort.

"_I can't deny my feelings for him anymore" _

TBC…


	2. Confusion

A/N: Sorry for the long update, finals has severely kicked my ass, I still have one more week till its all over but I managed to squeeze in chapter 2 through the midst of all

A/N: Sorry for the long update, finals have severely kicked my ass, I still have one more week tilled its all over but I managed to squeeze in chapter 2 through the midst of all. Please R/R!!

And this is the next verse to the song; don't mind the gender, its all about the message! 'por seimpre' means 'Forever' in Spanish.

She exhales vanilla lace, I barley dreamt her yesterday

Read the lines in the mirror through the lipstick trace "por seimpre"

She said I've seen you somewhere far away to his face

Its in the blood, it's in the blood, I met my love before I was born

She wanted blood, I taste of blood, she bit my lip and drank my war

From years before, from years before.

_AFI: Love Like Winter_

Confusion 

I woke up with a pounding headache, reluctantly getting up from bed and did my normal school morning routine. I toddle down stairs feeling my stomach turn with each uneasy step.

"Stan, are you feeling alright?" My mom poked her head out the kitchen concerned.

I looked at her with a lost gaze. "Uh, yea, I guess?"

"Oh my goodness, you look exhausted, did you get any sleep at all last night?" My mom steps out of the kitchen to my direction and puts a hand to my forehead.

"Some, I've been having trouble lately." I answer truthfully.

"Well, you need to stop staying up so late playing silly videogames." She sternly replied, yet running a caring hand through my hair.

I gave her a weak smile "Your right, I'll stop."

"Alright then, make sure to take some fruit to hold you over till lunch."

I took some fruit like she requested and finally walked out the front door of my house. The anticipation of seeing Kyle was suffocating me.

It was bitter cold as usual on a December morning and I furiously rubbed my gloved hands together to gain warmth. I started my 01 Camry, the car my parents gave me for my birthday last year and experienced the longest car ride to school.

I couldn't bring myself to talk to Kyle through out the entire day let alone even glance at him. This is definitely not my usual behavior, I felt utterly exposed around him, I felt as if I muttered one word to him, he would figure something out that he shouldn't come to discover. I avoided him this morning and at lunch and I instead spent my entire lunch period locked at a corner of the library reading through a few books about dreams. I honestly felt stupid looking through all those books, ineptly hoping one of them may carry a clue of some kind to further illuminate the dream I've been having. I discreetly check out a dream book that actually seemed comprehensible and not full of that excessive false information that anyone can point out as a misleading piece of material.

As I sat uncomfortably near the end of my 7th and final period English AP class; I was eagerly tying to distract myself from Kyle and the lingering thoughts of last nights dream into reading the last few passages of 'Macbeth'

It's much difficult to fully concentrate in this class considering this is the only have I share with Kyle.

My eyes inevitably traveled over to Kyle who sat a couple of seats left ahead of me. I suppose he sensed my gaze and he turned around giving me a genuine smile. I smiled back rather inorganically and swiftly diverted my eyes back to the text, feeling a tingling heat rise to my cheeks, a sensation I rarely experienced with him.

"Alright class." The teacher, Miss Antorcha announced. "Can someone tell me what Hecate's monologue meant to you in act 2?"

Kyle immediately raised his hand as well as Cartman; they continue to academically battle it out to this day. Mrs. Antorcha glanced at Carman and skeptically quirked a brow, she pointed a delicate finger to Kyle instead.

"Kyle."

"Well, bearing in mind the three witches announced forbidden prophecies to Macbeth in act 1; Hecate eventually found out and -"

The answer rolls of his tongue with complete ease and articulation, as usual. He is the epitome of a teachers pet and he's not even aware of it. Kyle has changed dramatically on physical level since end of Jr. High. He's still very skinny and pale but he has gained tone and muscle through out his torso, arms as well as the rest of his body. His signature dark red curly hair is a bit shorter and nicely tamed due to hair product. He discarded the green hat as well as the rest of us a number of years ago. (Only during those snowy freezing cold days, we'll have them on) His style consist of dark washed jeans, a tee shirt sometimes a band tee and a pair converse or vans. He now also wears black rim reading glasses since a couple years ago which gives him a total 'scene kid' look. Just the mere fact that Kyle has always been the smartest person I've known only makes him hotter.

'_Fuck, what the hell I'm I thinking?!' _

I quickly brush off the inappropriate thoughts of Kyle's attractiveness and try and focus on something else. I notice Cartman resting his chin on a hand and rolling his eyes with a sigh of annoyance. I have to admit Cartman is one hell of a smart kid, but occasionally his answers to questions like these are more on the 'conspiracy' side rather then a well equip logical answer and he does have the knowledge to muster one up, why he chooses not to sometimes, I still to this day don't understand. Hell, it's Eric Cartman for Christ's sake.

Cartman's physically changed quite a bit too since elementary school. His lost at least 30 pounds and attained this whole new, much more appealing image for himself. He's actually getting hit on now and having a crush here and there from a few a girls at school. He also matured a lot since his years of endless ruses and poor life threatening tactics to conquering 10 million dollars.

"Very well Kyle" Mrs. Antorcha commended distracting my thoughts.

"Now, your final exam is coming up next week, remember were covering Shakespeare's 'Julius Caesar' and 'Macbeth'. So please continue to study efficiently for the test and come prepared to class next Tuesday. You've all had plenty of time to study, so please don't fuck off the remaining period you have left." Mrs. Antorcha is the strictest teacher in the English department. She has never censored herself and she truly does care for the well being of our education.

The bell rang shortly after and I noticed Kyle walking to my desk.

"Hey dude, you wanna come over again today to study for the test?" Kyle asked through his black rim reading glasses.

"Shakespeare can suck my balls." Cartman commented loud enough to hear as he walked over to us.

"Shut up fatass." Kyle snapped back, dismissing the question he just asked me. "Shakespeare plays carries profound language, words that's now dead in our society."

"Yea, language that's profoundly adored by fags." Cartman retorted directly to Kyle.

"That's a lot coming from someone who carried a picture of Butter's balls in his mouth." Kyle harshly bit.

"Aye!" Cartman swiftly singled Kyle to shut up, hoping the last few people in the room didn't hear. "I have no idea what you're talking about Kyle." Cartman tried to cover up Kyle's statement. "Sounds like a little, naive 9 year old kid could've done such an innocent move like that." He slyly finished

I subtly chuckle remembering that day at our bus stop when Cartman was once again undergoing his everlasting quest of despair and misery among others and he excitedly showed us a priceless photo signaling that Butters was gay, but he pathetically had the implication the other way around.

"Yea, Cartman." I agreed with Kyle trying my best not to laugh. "Someone like you should love Shakespeare, Its sad how you cant understand one simple phrase? How the hell did you even qualify to take this class anyway?" I severely tease and I can feel the frustrating rage boiling inside him. Nothing pissed Cartman off more then ripping on his intellect.

"Shut your fucking mouth Stan! I am a very smart individual, just because phrases like _blood hath been shed ere now, I'; th' olden time, ere humane statute purged the gentle weal. _Doesn't knock my fucking socks off doesn't mean shit! Shakespeare text provokes people to eat their own feces due to thinking too fucking hard" Cartman piercingly responded.

Kyle glared at Cartman with annoyance. "Have you learned nothing from our study sessions fat boy? What Macbeth means is that phrase is back in time when places didn't hold laws-

"I don't care what it means! As long as I pass this stupid test, I don't give flying monkey balls what any of it means!" Cartman nearly shouted closing his fists together banging a frustrated hand on a desk beside me.

Kyle being use to Cartman outbursts wasn't taken aback, in fact neither of us were.

"Screw you guys, I'll see you bitches 3." Cartman said with aggravation and left, leaving only Kyle and I alone in a now vacant classroom.

I instantly felt tension growing in the room, I put the rest of my supplies in my backpack and I can feel Kyle's bright green eyes piercing into me. My eyes slowly travel to him and I quirked a brow, trying to look as casual as possible.

"Uh, yea I'll be over today at 3." I uttered, finally answering his earlier question.

"I know you'll be over at 3." Kyle informed nonchalantly. "What's going on Stan? Are you mad at me? You've been avoiding me all day." Kyle asked with a hint of demand in his voice, a tone he only ever used on Cartman.

"What makes you say that?" I reply with a tinge of defense, although I knew I was more than guilty. I got up from my desk and languidly threw my bag over my shoulder.

"Stan, if something is bothering you, you know you can tell me." Kyle said, this time more compassion filled his tongue and he placed a gentle hand on my shoulder, my breath intuitively quickened from his touch.

My face also flushed, a lace of embarrassment surged through me as I tried to come up with an excuse, a lie, any ambiguous statement that's anything but the truth. However, lying to Kyle is impossible for me to congregate. So, I said the closet thing to a lie I could muster up.

"I… uh…it's nothing." I said with hollowness as I stared at his shoulder avoiding his gaze.

"Come on Stan," Kyle lightly coaxed; he paused for a moment and released his hand off my shoulder with a soft sigh. "Sorry, if you don't want to talk about it, that's cool, I don't want to pressure you into telling me anything if you don't want to." Kyle finished looking at me, his eyes held a trace of guilt.

I instantly felt like shit. I don't want him to think holding anything drastic from him especially if he thinks I'm angry with him. "Kyle, dude, what I'm going through has nothing to do with you." I convinced him, even though what I am going through very much has a lot to do with him.

He looked at me incredulously "Then why haven't you spoken to me all day, I can tell you've been purposely avoiding me."

"Like when?" I asked stupidly, already knowing the answer to my own question.

"Like when?!" Kyle replied flabbergasted. "Like when I said 'Hi' to you this morning at your locker you simply glanced at me with a weak smile and walked off, and when I saw you at the cafeteria for one second, you walked off again and you didn't even have lunch, and just now in our whole 45 minute class session you haven't said one word to me till now. So I'm assuming I have something to do with your strangeness today!"

Kyle isn't stupid, I should have known better then to avoid him just because of some stupid dream. He's my best friend and I trust him with everything I have.

"…Dude, really, I'm not mad at you or anything, trust me." I assured him, noticing his eyes brighten with relief. "It's just that… I can't really talk about it, and-

"Say no more, I just wanted to make sure you weren't angry with me and don't feel obligated to tell me something if you really don't want to." Kyle replied reassuringly.

I smiled back relieved that he dropped the subject, no wonder he's my best friend and much more to me.

…

"Alright, fine Cartman we'll start without you." Kyle said into in cell phone as we in room ready to begin studying.

Kyle shut his flip phone and walked over to his desk where we had scattered papers and copies of both plays.

"Cartman is gonna be late, Mr. Kitty ran out the house again and he had to go chase him down the street."

"He still has that cat? It must be like 80 years old." I chuckle, picturing Cartman hastily running through the street for his poor, lost kitty.

"Yea, it should be about that age, I always liked his cat." Kyle commented as he flipped through countless pages of notes regarding Julius Caesar.

"Stan, can you pull out the notes from yesterday's lecture of Macbeth?" Kyle asked as he concentrated on his note material.

"Sure" I rummage through my bag unable to successfully find it. There are tons of papers, two different binders and a couple notebooks and books; I really need to clean out my bag later. I end up pulling all my things at once and pilling on Kyle's relatively huge desk, hoping to find it that way.

I suppose Kyle notice the atrocity now on the side of his desk and snorted with a smirk. "Damn, you really need to have your shit more organized."

"Dude, seriously." I replied as I continued to search through all my things.

It got silent for a moment, my eyes shift to Kyle and I noticed-

'_Fuck, he's reading through the dream book I checked out!'_

I couldn't bring myself to say anything; I simply stared at him dumbfounded at a loss for words, face tinting red with embarrassment.

"This is a pretty cool book Stan." Kyle commented while reading through the first few pages.

"Oh, um… yea." I replied not exactly knowing what to say.

I come to realize that I should have nothing ridiculous to hide from my friend. Knowing Kyle if something as light as a dream bothered me he's not rip on me about it, no matter how gay it is… literally.

"You know, Kyle, the reason I've been acting weird with you today…" I start nervously running an edgy hand through my hair.

"Yea…" Kyle said and waited, silently trying to make me more comfortable, however it wasn't really working. His gentle green eyes were piercing into mine through his reading glasses. Fuck, I suddenly feel warmer from his gaze.

"I had this dream last night." I continued uneasily. "And it really bothered me this morning and you were in it. We were hiding from these guys that were chasing us and we were in a dark alley, and I found you hiding behind some trash cans and it was night time, very late and we were… um…you know…"

I can feel my face burning with humiliation. I couldn't back off telling him now, I just have to bite the bullet and tell him what's been truly going on with me.

… uh…don't be mad when I say this… but… uh… we were…a little more than friends if you catch my drift." I speed through that last statement, unable to lock eyes with him any longer.

When I finally gained enough courage, I forced my eyes to travel to Kyle's, his brows were knitted with discomfort and his eyes were shiny with moisture. I was stunned at his reaction.

"Did I…die?" Kyle nervously asked with a trembling voice, almost terrified.

My eyes widen with astonishment. "Yea, I mean, how the hell did you know that?!"

Kyle continued to stare into me, his eyes possessing a great deal of emotion, and I can see a million different thoughts registering through him at rapid speed. He let out a shaky breath, mouth ajar, he almost appeared frightened and timid with himself.

"I've been having the same dream for the past week."

People pleeeeeease R/R!! With cherries and whip cream on top

-Evie


	3. Discoveries

Thanks for the reviews

Thanks for the reviews! I want more! ;-) Here is chapter 3! Yay, its pretty short, but I hope you enjoy anyway.

READ: It gets pretty theosophical, so all in all I hope no one is offended in anyway. And just for the record I'm Catholic and I find that kind of theosophical stuff to be pretty interesting. Please R&R!!

Discoveries?

I goggled at Kyle, my eyes felt as if they were straining out my sockets.

"What the fuck?!" I shout, almost loud enough for Sheila to come busting into the room about cursing in her home.

"Yea" Kyle murmured taken aback, his eyes continued to lock with mine with shock. "Stan, I swear I'm getting chills just looking at you." Kyle confessed. "This is too fucking weird."

I can say the same thing, my heart continued to pound with disbelief as I was still taking in on what he just told me.

"Kyle…" I slowly began, feeling my body stiffen with uneasiness. "You sure you've been having the same dream as mine?" I question still in doubt about the entire situation.

"Listen when I tell you this Stan, I thought I was going fucking crazy with this dream, it got to the point where I couldn't get a full nights sleep anymore. We were running from these 3 guys and you and I got separated at one point from each other I end up hiding behind some trash cans in some fucking god forsaken alley, I don't even know where this place is. Actually… everything around us, from the area to our clothes, the atmosphere, everything looked… dated, but I just remember being scared to death on were you were. I constantly remember thinking that something horrible has happened to you…

Kyle grew silent as that familiar moisture gradually reoccurred in his eyes.

"Then the next thing I know, we eventually found each other and I remember being so relieved to see you again. But, the 3 guys eventually found us too and one them ended up stabbing me on the side of stomach and that's were my dream ends and I wake up a freaking the hell out." Kyle finished with a small voice.

I immediately felt disturbing chills run down my spine when he mentioned getting stabbed on the side of his stomach. "…that's exactly what happened, and…uh…

"And what?" Kyle asked eagerly.

I stopped my mind before my mouth could speak the words it was spontaneously processing. I was going to mention about the kiss I gave him shortly after he got stabbed but I decided not to, figuring this here is enough information for one day.

"Nothing, it's just that… I'm still can't fucking believe this." I quickly stated my hands tightening with anxiety.

"You know what? I think your right, in the dream we were much more then friends because I remember feeling this connection with you a connection you only feel for a person you are passionately involved with -- well, you get what I'm saying." Kyle quickly finished with carelessness traced into his words.

After a few moments of awkward silence I can feel my mind abruptly begin to spin at rapid speed, the room became uncomfortably warmer causing a sudden flow of lightheadedness.

"You ok?" Kyle asked placing a hand on the side of my shoulder.

"Yea, I just don't feel too good." I honestly answered, it had to be this overwhelming dose of shock or possibly the kind of tone Kyle just used on his last statement, it contained such flatness and it felt roughly demeaning.

"Here, just lie down for a few minutes." Kyle offered, this time that kind quality returned to his voice. He stood up and prepared his bed, pulling out the comforter and arranging the pillows.

I got up my body relaxed a bit with the sight of being able to sleep for a while in a comfortable bed, especially it being Kyle's bed. I lie down and I immediately close my eyes consciously hoping to get some peaceful rest, and not feel low about Kyle, I should have been realistically aware and not stuck on cloud nine. Being more than best friends with Kyle; would only ever exist in my dreams.

…

I wake up feeling genuinely rejuvenated and fresh. I allowed my arms to extend to the sides of me, enjoying a well deserved tight stretch.

I looked over at Kyle who still sat at his desk reading through that dream book I checked out. He looked very involved of what he was reading, I can tell from the crease of his eyebrows, the pencil dangling from the side of his mouth and the deep correlation his eyes possessed with the text.

"Find anything interesting?" I questioned as I sat upright on his bed.

"It about time you're up." Kyle replied still keeping focus on the words of the page, pulling the pencil from his lips and underlined something. "You've been asleep for nearly 3 ½ hours."

"Really?" I responded with surprise as I shot my head to his alarm clock, it read 6:45. I drew out his curtains peering outside his window, it's already dark, and you can already see the moon in all its glory.

"Damn it," I mumbled under my breath.

"Don't worry about it dude, your mom called earlier and I convinced her for you to stay tonight." Kyle mentioned still ingrained into the book.

"Thanks, I can't believe she said yes on a school night." I commented surprised my mom allowed something completely against her rule book. Over the years, it got to the degree where I've slept over all the time that I even have my very own truth brush in his bathroom.

"I blamed it on excessive studying." He said, finally taking his focus out the book and to my direction.

"Good, I don't even feel like going home tonight anyway. You found anything good? It was the best one I could find." I commented, hoping my statement was true.

"You're not going to believe the stuff that's in here about dreams, and all of it seems it could be valid too. It not one of those retarded books were they give you a list of people, places or things and each and every one things that occur in your dream has a definition of its very own. I find that to be stupid because every one of us is different, thus making different things that occur in our dreams carrying different meanings to each of us."

There he goes being fucking intelligent again, I get turned on every time he gets smart on someone and he's even hotter when he's not aware of it.

"Like look right here Stan." Kyle mentions, disturbing my improper thoughts as he eagerly pointed to a part in the book. "Here it says that dreams are separated into different categories, there are 'wish dreams,' 'phonetic dreams', 'release dreams, 'the information or problem solving dream and then there's 'astral traveling."

"What's astral traveling?" I questioned with interest as I sat next to Kyle.

"This is some way out stuff, but it says that astral traveling occurs when we sleep and our souls basically take a ride outside of our bodies but were still connected to our souls during our sleep. It says that with astral traveling we are able to visit different places around the world, visit loved ones that has past on, and also visit people who are still alive, and we also able to visit events from 'past lives'…" Kyle stopped reading with a hard pause

My heart dropped with astonishment. "Past lives…" I stated more than a question

"…You really think?" Kyle asked, disbelievingly.

"If we've been having the same dream, then at this point, who knows… there might just be a way to find out?"


	4. It Has to be Fate

_A/N: Thanks for reviewing it totally makes my day. Sorry if it took a while to update but here is chapter 4. It begins to get kind of __**caldo**__ (hot in Italian) in this chapter so I hope you all will enjoy. ;-) _

_Disclaimer: (I forgot to do this earlier) I don't own South Park or any of it's characters, damn it!_

_**READ:**__ Just as a reminder, from this chapter on it's gets pretty theosophical. So please, I continue to hope no one is offended in any way, or has anything __rudely stupid __to say about the theosophical implications. Thanx! ;-) _

_READ and REVIEW_

* * *

It's Has To be Fate

"How can we find out?" Kyle solemnly asked, his stunning green eye's shining with wonder.

"We gotta to go to Kenny's house tomorrow and I'll let you know from there." I warmly say, I can almost swear I used a flirty tone with him but I instantly dismissed the thought.

Kyle's jaw slacked with disbelief. "What?!" he shouts, slamming both hands on his desk confused while his eyebrows creased with frustration. Jesus, he's so fucking hot when he gets flustered.

"You have to wait." I insisted, my voice becoming a bit critical.

I couldn't necessarily tell him now, otherwise we'll end up talking for the rest of the night about it. I will also be in the act of breaking a promise as well.

Kenny's mom used to be a hypnosis-therapist before Kenny was born and before they were poor. She used to work at a psychotherapist clinic in Denver before she got married and sadly wasted her life away with her drinking problem and a deprived marriage.

She taught him quite a few tactics covering psychological hypnosis that he eventually over the years has mastered. He decided to keep his prowess to himself and he never dared to speak about his talents with others, fearing he will be called 'the poor weirdo freak of nature kid.' I hung out at his house one day after school and I suppose he trusted me enough to tell me about his skill. He gravely had asked me to not utter a word to anyone, including Kyle, I had promised, and I faithfully continue to solely keep his secret.

Kenny would hypnotize his brother on rare occasions and not just for the hell of it. He wasn't taught the retarded type of hypnosis where you have the ability to make a person do whatever stupid ass thing you want them to do against their will. What Kenny is able to do actually makes sense and is much more beneficial for a persons emotional and psychological health.

For instance, his brother would occasionally go through these phases of deep depression and in turn Kenny would basically tell his subconscious mind under hypnosis, positive expressions.

Kenny would say things like how life isn't as bad as you make it out to be, and that you are fortunate to have of what little you do have and there is going be a generous dose of opportunities of becoming highly successful in life, and remarkably within days his depression would fade. No wonder Kenny doesn't seem so miserable about his life in candid poverty.

So I'm hoping this improvisational plan could work. If Kenny is able to tap into the subconscious mind, then he can hypnotize Kyle and I. It can possibly bring up glimpses from our dreams resulting from the life we supposedly lived before our current one.

"Come on, just tell me what the hell it is." Kyle asked, aggravation developed in his words.

"Trust me Kyle, I will let you know tomorrow. Besides we only have a few more day's before the test." I mentioned hoping I convinced him enough.

He eyes slightly knitted as they warmly burned into mine in a fickle, searching for something, almost as if he's trying to figure something out through the stillness my eyes carried. After a few nearly transcendental moments he reluctantly agreed with me. "Alright fine, but you better fucking tell me."

I sort of feel a bit uneasy. I don't want to break Kenny's promise by telling Kyle what he is able to do, but considering this uncanny situation that Kyle and I are going through I think Kenny would truly understand, and would offer to help out. At least that's what I'm hoping would happen.

We finally continue our focus on studying for the remaining time of the early evening rather then endlessly tripping balls on our discovery. We heavily crammed as much as we could, trying to redeem the loss of time mainly focusing on 'The Tragedy of Macbeth'

Our studying from examining all 3 complex acts eventually waned, and we officially became exhausted. It got to the point where our eye lids suddenly weighed a ton and the words on the page unexpectedly became a clouded haze. It was around 11:35 pm when we called it quits for the night. Kyle threw one of his sleep pants and a shirt at me insisting I go to bed while he took a shower.

"Thanks dude." I said through a yawn as I ran a hand through my jet black hair, noticing the hair product I had on this morning seemed to have diminished to nothing.

"I got some clothes you can wear tomorrow." Kyle tiredly stated, trailing off as he went into the hallway.

Fortunately, Kyle and I essentially fit the same clothes size, so when sudden sleep over's like this occurs where covered for the next day.

I idly took my shirt off then jeans leaving me only in black boxers as I stagger in a stupor with the stormy grey pants and white shirt . The weariness that settled in my body was agonizing, it seems pretty abnormal to feel such exhaustion after a long nap happening only 4 hours earlier. I finally succeed with the pajamas after much needless difficulty. I plopped back onto his full size bed and lazily covered my face with one of his many pillows.

After some time, it ultimately hits me that I should really wash my face and brush my teeth. It has always irked me when people didn't do at least that small custom before bed. I guess it was the many years of my mom being up my ass about it, and now I find it disgusting if you don't.

I resentfully get up from bed and head to his bathroom where he is still taking his shower. I softly knock on the door. "Kyle, can I come in the brush my teeth and stuff." I loudly whisper.

"I can't hear you dude, just come in." I hear Kyle's muffled voice echo through the clamor of the shower pressure.

I slowly open the door, feeling the warm steam encircle me as I walk inside. Just as I anticipated, I become nervously tense, simply knowing the fact that Kyle is full blown naked just a couple of feet away from me.

"I'm just gonna brush my teeth and stuff." I mentioned again as I walk over to the sink purposely trying to limit my peripheral vision.

"All right, just don't use any hot water." Kyle commented back.

I retrieve my toothbrush and a tube of toothpaste from the medicine cabinet and proceed onto brushing. I begin to look at myself through the fogged mirror as I'm brushing my teeth in the doctor recommended circular motion. My blue eye's appeared blood shot, but the weariness that had developed in my body nearly vanished and was replaced with this familiar heat that also prompts my breath to quicken as well.

With this now intense warm feeling running through me, I couldn't help but to feel a little ashamed of myself. I am currently standing in my best friends bathroom, while he's showering only mere inches from me, and here I' am getting fucking excited.

I spit out the now foamy toothpaste substance and gargle some mouthwash of his. I use a portion of his face cleansing soap and go on to washing my face rather quickly, attempting to get out here as soon as I can before I suffocate in my own anxiety.

I thoughtfully rinse my face off one last time, in doing so I hear the shower knobs squeak off. I freeze in place, nervous as hell to move.

"Can you hand me my towel hanging from behind the door." Kyle asked.

"…uh, sure." I impulsively stumbled on my words as I forced myself to finally alter my body and move.

I uncomfortably walked over to the door and retrieved his dark green towel. "Here, I got it."

I notice the sliding shower door opened about a good inch. "Just hand it here."

I walk to Kyle's direction feeling my palms getting sweaty from each step, My breath ceased as he pulled the shower door open more, enough to reach his hand out for the towel. I gently place the towel on his hand feeling my heart unruly quickening its pace and my lips slightly parting from tempting arousal, and-

_Shit! I 'm getting a fucking boner?!_

"Thanks." Kyle nicely replied as he shuts the shower door.

My face burns a scorching red coat of pure embarrassment. I swiftly leave the bathroom and quietly shut the door behind me,

I run silently into his room horrified as fuck, I'm totally freaking the fuck out on what the fuck I should do with my fucking boner!

"Shit!" I harshly mummer, hastily running both hands through my untamed hair as I glance down and see my dick in all its glory.

Not having too many alternatives in mind, I shoot into his bed in a nervous panic. I pull the sheet and comforter over my body and I lay on my side facing the wall, knowing Kyle will be in here any second.

A couple minutes later, I hear the door open then softly close. I can also hear him shuffling through different papers and items on his desk and the lamp on his desk eventually being switched off, still leaving the main ceiling light to light the room.

I can feel his presence walking towards me on the bed, I continue to dread about my dick being hard, but luckily I think it's beginning to gradually subside… I think.

I feel the bed slightly dip and hear a yawn being drawn from Kyle. "Your asleep already?" He asked exhaustedly .

I didn't know what to say, a part of me wanted to stay completely quiet and another part of me wanted to lash out and kiss him.

"No, not yet." I replied.

A few moments of awkward silent passes, I can literally pick up and faintly hear Kyle's steady breathing, I can tell from his pattern he's very tired.

"Do you mind Stan?" Kyle asked, I can almost catch a hint of uneasiness to his voice.

"Mind what?" I questioned, a bit puzzled.

"I know the last time we slept in the same bed together we were like 8, but I'd feel kind of fucked up right now if I kicked you off." Kyle replied with a chuckle.

My heart nearly skipped a beat at his statement. He's right, the last time we did sleep in the same bed together we were kids about 8 or 9. Those were the years, where your reckless hormones and insecurities didn't come to fully manifest yet, the years of pure innocence. Now, every time I do sleep over his house I would normally sleep with a couple of blankets and pillows on his floor or occasionally bring a sleeping bag if I was aware of staying the night.

"…Uh, no, whatever dude, go ahead." I answer sincerely, still keeping my focus to the wall.

"Good." Kyle responded as my heart once again accelerated, I feel the slight shift of the bed again and sensed Kyle walking to the light switch of his room and clicking it off.

The room is now pitch black save from the moon being the only source of natural light. I feel the blanket now being lifted and Kyle's warm body settling onto his bed, I can tell there is only a limited gap between us.

Jesus Christ on ice skates, I'm so fucking horny.

That recognizable odd silence fell upon us again, I felt stiff as a board fearing if I move I would brush against him, and that definitely will not help of keeping my boner at bay.

"Stan?" I hear Kyle ask.

"Yeah." I replied, my voice slightly cracked.

"Do you really think we've known each other before this lifetime? If we lived any other lives at all?" Kyle asked, I can tell he's not being skeptical with the question.

"Probably." I honestly answer. "I mean, a lot of crazy stuff happens as you go through life, a ton of unexplainable things like fate and stuff."

Kyle shifted his body and I can sense he eventually faces me. "I really do believe so, I mean I know this sounds bizarre but I really do think we've known each other way more then just one lifetime."

In this moment of time, the love I hold so strongly towards Kyle has never radiated so brilliantly through me. I feel my breath softly escape my lungs from the almost intimate closeness with him, and my chest faintly ached with tenderness from what he just said, it made me feel truly good inside and all the power in the world couldn't prevent the smile that formed my lips.

I confidently decide to ignore my tentative mind and my fairly throbbing member and I steadily turn my head along with my entire body to face him too. A rush of ecstasy enveloped me as I locked his illuminating green eyes in darkness with my deep blues, and I uttered. "If that's the case, then that would explain a lot between us."

* * *

_Author Notes: I will for sure get down to business on the next chapter. I just really wanted a simple n' sweet chapter before all the main stuff happens. And yes, Kenny knows a thing or two about psychological hypnosis, (I wanted to add him in some sort of interesting way)_


	5. Revealed

_Authors Notes: Thank you so much to all my reviewers! You have no idea how much your reviews means to me, every single one I read completely makes my day, and that's the honest truth! ;-) _

_I also wanted to mention real quick **for those of you have seen Imaginationland**, I just recently bought it at a Best Buy, watched this past Sunday, and I loved it and I just thought it was a pretty neat how Stan and Kyle had that bit on phone about them having the same dream. I immediately thought of my story ;-) (I hope I didn't spoil much for those who haven't seen it yet, I couldn't help but to share that little piece of info with you guys)_

_So anyway, here is chapter 5! Yay! My next chapter will most likely be the last chapter. (tear) So I hope you all will enjoy this chapter before the potential final one. Please Read and Review! I really want to know what you guys think so far. ;-)_

_Revealed_

I groggily wake up to the sound of Kyle's morning alarm clock much to my disappointment. I made sure I kept ample distance from him through out the night whether I was conscious of it or not and I didn't dare get too close fearing I might violate him somehow even a mere brush against him was an inappropriate move to me.

I notice Kyle reaching his hand out and blindly slam onto the annoying alarm clock. I hear him throat fully release an early morning sigh as he shifts onto a sitting position, giving himself a beautiful stretch.

"Fuck dude." Kyle said through a yawn. "I actually slept well." He finished with a surprised tone as he smiled warmly, which completely made my breath cease.

"Me too." I admitted, as I realized my body felt refreshed and rejuvenated and not to mention the other improper surges that continued to run through me. I hurriedly climbed over Kyle and retrieved a clean towel hanging behind his door on a hook. "I'm gonna take a quick shower." I murmured and promptly walked out his room with nothing less then a glance.

I go into his bathroom and swiftly shut the door comforted and dismayed to finally get away from Kyle. My breathing pattern becomes deep and heavy, feeling as if held it in all night long. I let my back rest against the locked door and I immediately pull Kyle's sleep pants off me followed with my boxers. I looked down at my morning hard on with a disgraced groan, I take my shirt off and start the shower water with a hasty rush, ultimately getting in when the temperature is about right and I begin stroking my hard shaft with the aid of soapy body wash.

Knowing that I was literally sleeping with Kyle…literally, all fucking night long did heavy number on my dick. I let soft moans escape my lips as I vigorously pumped as fast as I could, hoping to hurry and get this over with, almost trying to fool myself that this is in fact not happening. Glimpses of Kyle flashed through my mind in a frenzy only making my masturbation session more intoxicating.

In a couple minutes I came with a pulsating shot, I let a out a soft and hopefully quiet moan relieved to have finally dealt with my throbbing cock since last night. I instantly wipe as much of the evidence off and start onto actually bathing as intended.

……..

I insisted on driving us to school that morning rather then driving in two separate cars, which we both agreed was a retarded move and a waste of 5 dollar per gallon gas. Kyle and I would normally take turns driving each other every school day unless we had completely different schedules after school. The weather was still cold but not as frigid as it has been during the last couple of weeks, considering December is soon coming to a closing. As silence descended upon us I took it as a opportunity to say something before it gets oddly quiet, at least in my opinion.

"Did you have the dream last night?" I asked, a hint of eagerness settled on my question.

"Actually, no… at least I don't think so. I'm telling you dude, I slept like a fucking baby." Kyle replied, a faint smile curved his lips, I suppose he enjoyed the fact he had a peaceful slumber after nights of having the same agonizing dream.

"Really? That's weird me either." I truthfully replied, I started to wonder, out of all the nights of this recurring dream happening to the both of us, neither of us had it last night.

I pulled up to the school's student parking lot and parked my car with a good 5 minutes to spare before class. We both grab our Dickeys logo backpacks and walk out of the parking lot together, we were about to go our separate ways when Kyle grasp my shoulder and stopped me at my tracks, I instinctively flushed from his abrupt physical contact.

"Remember Stan," He begins with a smirk, his piercing green eyes looking into mine as his reading glasses slipped near the tip of his nose. "You have to tell me what you've got planned at Kenny's house and we better go after school like you said, I really want to know what the hells going on between us." He finished with a faint chuckle trying not to sound too demanding while his grip on my shoulder softened.

"Don't worry about it dude, just don't tell Kenny what's been going on yet. I'm gonna talk to him 2nd period." I informed in a guarded manner.

Kyle nodded his head in agreement and he released his hand back to his side. "I'll see you later." He replied as he locked his glistening greens with mine for another exquisite moment and then he sauntered off to his first period class, which couldn't help but to sadly pang me a little.

"Later." I muttered back.

At least I have a class with Kenny soon, second period to be exact which is Trigonometry. That kid may not be considered a prized student but he sure in hell does well in our Trig class.

I really do hope that he will be able to help Kyle and I out, no matter how embarrassed or tentative he might get about the whole situation. Kenny's been our friend since kindergarten god damn it! So he better help out… I hope.

First period P.E. class started, and I actually did made it on time to the lockers. That's one class other then English that I also share with Cartman.

"How come you never came over yesterday, fatass?" I asked as we were changing in the boys locker room.

"Mr. Kitty ran two whole fucking blocks before I finally caught her slutty bitch ass, and then she decided to piss me off. And the last thing I wanted to do was to deal with you and that back stabbing know it all Jew." Cartman replied in his usual spiteful manner as he retrieved his physical ED clothes and slammed his locker.

I simply roll my eyes at his comment. "Well, you should've never been a whiny little bitch to start with and came over anyway, the test is a few days away. And how the hell is your stupid cat able to run like that, its damn near 100 years old?" I replied back as half my focus was rummaging through the depths of my locker.

"Aye, don't talk about Mr. Kitty, she's still young at heart." He retorted back defensively.

I suppose Cartman noticed someone behind me because he suddenly dismissed my presence and diverted all his attention to his next victim.

"Hey fellas" I hear Butters greet, I turned around and saw him cheerfully wave a hand to our direction.

"Aye Faggot," Cartman said in that wickedly nice fake voice of his. "Are you finally done sucking the PE teacher's cock for a higher grade?" Cartman harshly finished, barely loud enough for the entire locker room to hear.

"Wha-! Eric! Why, how dare you say s-something like that!" Butters severely replied back wit a guttural tone as he balled his fists together in rage. His ever so thin figure stalked towards his locker brushing past Eric's larger form with plenty of that contained anger seeping through his strides. He carelessly through his bag down and hastily twisted the combination knob, flustering.

Cartman walked up to Butters already preparing one of his many conniving moves, having that familiar smug look on his face. He leaned in and whispered something to him that I couldn't make out.

Butter's wrinkled his eyes in fury, while his lips fiercely pursed and his face turned a bright red tone from what appears to be utter rage or embarrassment. "Now you listen here!" Butters shouted. "I'm sick and tired of you always talking about me, well I just have had it up to here with you! I've told you plenty of times that I was never adopted and I am not a penis loving gay wad! "

"…Butter's… you are a penis loving gay wad." Cartman casually replied back with a trace of exasperation as he leaned against the locker beside him and crossed his arms.

That fucking sadistic son of a bitch asshole consistently fucks around with Butters, teasing him about being a supposed homosexual and chastising him almost maliciously at times. It gets to the point where I feel totally bad for the kid. But at the same time I know at the end of the day the former fatass doesn't mean it, I get the impression at times that he's in fact the one who has a complete boner towards the now all grown up Scotch boy, but I know he'll never in his days admit to himself of something like that. Ump, fucking closet case.

Physical Ed nicely came and went and second period finally came, much to my satisfaction to finally get a few words in with Kenny. I showed up extra early in hopes he will already be sitting at his desk.

And to my relief there he was.

Now that I've been aware of my sexuality since the 8th grade, and trust me it took a great amount of time and self realization to finally admit it to myself. But don't get me wrong, I continue to find some girls really hot and pretty and all that, but not to the point of being in a deep sexual relationship with. Right after I had sex with Wendy back in 9th grade during in which my hormones recklessly confused me, leaving me a complete emotional mess, I knew right then at that very second… I might just have different sexual liking.

Absolutely no one to this very day knows about my sexual orientation, not even Kyle…at least I hope no one knows, I've been fairly good at hiding my sexual preferences through out Jr. high and high school. There have been occasions where I've discreetly found a few boys here and there appealing. Like for instance I've recently begun to realized how attractive Kenny is since he finally hung up his signature orange parka about two years ago, but that doesn't mean I'd hook up with him or anything stupid like that. I've had a crush on Kyle for so fucking long now that I don't care how attractive you are or how much you'd want to get with me, whatever, Kyle has been and will always be first.

I notice Kenny momentarily scratching his head, musing over his many unspeakable thoughts, his fingers softly run through his golden tousled hair. Kenny finally lets his face show and now tends to dress in darker colors, a more alternative/punk style I suppose. He is now dressed in an all black fitted tee and dark washed jeans with a studded belt helping his pants to fit firmly around his ever so narrow hips and wearing basic converse. I also see a thick black jacket with barely noticeable white thin lines traveling vertically about an inch apart from each other hanging over his seat. He had gotten a job down at the local South Park mall working in some clothing store when he turned sixteen last year and has been basically supporting himself financially ever since, save from still having a crappy place to live.

"Hey Buddy." I said a little too nicely as I take an unoccupied seat next to him, I feel like I'm pulling a devious Cartman move from my tone.

He looked at me, his baby blues vaguely squinting in suspicion. "…What the hell do you want?" He asked.

Shit, was I that obvious. "Look, I really need your help and you can't say no."

"So your holding me against my will?" Kenny asked sarcastically.

I stupidly stumbled on my words not exactly knowing what to say "uh…yes…" I answered back nonchalantly.

"God damn it, I hate it when you force me to do things." Kenny snapped.

"Who the fuck do you think I am, Cartman?" I replied back cutting off the nice tone of voice. "Listen, I'll let you know everything after class, your our only hope Kenny." I say gravely as my eyes beseeched with his.

Kenny gazed at me uncertainly, he ran a very faint shaky hand through his hair. It appeared he was attempting to hide his uneasiness about this whole sudden request, that he's not even aware of exactly what yet. "What the hell is it?" He reluctantly asked as he tangled a hand through his blonde hair and rested his head on it. "And who else are you talking about?" He finished with a shrug.

"…Kyle…" I intuitively make my voice come down to a mere whisper, Kenny leaned in already knowing the protocol. "I need you to hypnotize Kyle and I, today after school."

Kenny's eyes grew wide with disbelief. "What the fuck?!" Kenny harshly whispered.

"Did you tell Kyle what I can do, I told you--?!".

"Dude, no! I haven't told Kyle anything. It's just that we've been going through a lot of crazy shit lately and you're the only person I know who can help us through it." I finished almost pleading near the end of my sentence.

Kenny stared at me intensely, his eyes meeting mine, pondering as a trace of fear and hesitance sparked through him.

Unfortunately the bell rang at that moment.

"…We'll talk after class." Kenny informed as he directed his attention to the front of the classroom.

"We need you." I finished barley above a whisper hoping my final statement would convince him enough through class.

I didn't noticed Token standing beside me patiently waiting for me to get off his seat. "Stan, can you get out my desk." He ordered rather then questioned.

My head shoots to his direction. "yea." I murmured as I got up and sauntered to my own seat a couple rows to the right.

Trigonometry was boring and difficult as usual, it was probably the longest felt class period of my life. I couldn't wait to get out of here to try and fully assure Kenny as quickly as I could after this hell hole of a class. The bell finally rang after 45 torturous minutes.

I already had most of my things packed so I simply stuffed my trigonometry math book into my bag and waited for Kenny outside in the hallway.

I waited a short time, and within the crowd of students I eventually take notice of Wendy. She sights me too and presented a warm smile, I smiled back and gave her a small wave.

I regrettably haven't been able to talk to Wendy the same since freshman year of high school. Ever since we had sex I've been completely weird towards her and soon after she was awkward with me too. She was in love with me and so was I but our relationship took an entirely different turn when I began to realized about my true sexuality. I was in utter denial and I tried to convince and force myself countless times to like girls; I strived to organically obtain what society itself said what was right. And I failed miserably. What also made our dilemma worse is I wasn't telling her or anyone at that matter what was really going on with me. I remember she'd ask me consistently, over and over what was wrong with me, what was my problem and why wasn't I happy. I should have known then just to tell Wendy the truth about my hidden sexuality instead of letting her desperately hang onto me, it was a very depressing year for the both of us and I tried to hide my unhappiness; at least from the guys, then we sort of just drifted apart. Now, we're in one of those unspoken situations where you don't know where to simply begin to make up as friends. I still consider her to be beautiful and sweet and I will remain to deeply care for her from a distance… but sadly that's really it.

"Why the hell do you want me to hypnotize you guys?" Kenny asked as he walked out the classroom distracting my brief past viewing.

It took me a moment to recollect my thoughts back to full reality. "Uh, yea… okay, this is going to sound weird, I don't even know where to start. It's kinda like-

"Stan" Kenny interrupted as we began to walk down the now quieting hall. "I psychology hypnotize people for fucks sake, nothing is weird to me, just tell me point blank what you guys are going through." Kenny demanded.

His statement fortunately made me feel a lot more comfortable. "Thanks Kenny." I couldn't help saying. "Okay what's been happening is Kyle and I have been having the same dream for the past couple of weeks. So what I want you to do is to hypnotize us and… well you know…try and make us find out… uh, well,… I mean, shit dude, you know, like-

"You want me to tap into your subconscious minds where your dreams are most prominent and to and unravel why you two are having the same dream?" Kenny finished my staggered frustrated sentence much to my relief and surprise.

"……yea." I answered back, astounded.

"That's pretty crazy." Kenny admitted. "Are you sure you two are having the same dream?" He asked a bit of doubt laced his words.

"Yes, dude! We've talk about it and his dream matches exactly what happened in mine!" I aggressively mumbled back hoping no one is potentially eavesdropping as we continued to walk down the hall.

"…Fine, I'll do it, but I swear you owe me big for this one… and I mean a fucking huge one…Come to think of it, I haven't hypnotized anyone in about 6 months. And I've never done this type of 'recovering dream' one before." Kenny stated as his eyes knitted in thought. "We'll just see how it goes after school but I'm not making any promises…today at 3?" He suggested.

"Today at 3." I agreed. Jesus Christ thank you, it's a done deal. "And you know Kyle is gonna have to eventually know what your able to do." I warned.

"…Whatever, I guess so." He replied back, his focus to the floor. "It's not like he's gonna be an asshole weirdo on me."

"Kenny, what the hell are you talking about?" I asked stupidly. "Your making it sound like you hardly know him, It's Kyle! He's not gonna rip you, trust me." I replied genuinely.

"No, I know that, it's just that I don't share what I can do with anyone. I only told you that day was because I wanted to kinda get off my chest somehow. You're the only person who knows, not even Cartman knows what I'm able to do." Kenny honestly responded as his eyes held a deal of apprehension.

"Just don't worry about it, what happens after school today, stays between the three of us." I assured him. "Besides, you have no idea how much I want to know what this dream means between Kyle and I." I say with an uplifting tone, trying to influence Kenny to feel more comfortable.

Kenny unexpectedly stopped at his tracks and stared at me for a long moment. I stood there staring back, knitting my eyes in a haze of confusion and soon after a cunning smirk slowly curved his lips. "I fucking knew it." He said bluntly.

My skin grew pale, I can literally feel the last of color I had left disappear. Fuck, Kenny cant know he fucking can't. "Knew what?" I unavoidably choked.

"That you have a thing for Kyle." Kenny replied as huge cheesy grin now displayed his face, all while excitedly pointing a finger at me, which only made my cheeks burn this almost scalding heat.

"Kenny! No I fucking dont!." I uttered defensively as I dragged him with untamed force all the way towards the back of the schools student parking lot, trying to make our sporadic conversation less noticeable. The tardy bell must've rang about a minute ago but I didn't want to take any chances with any late goers wandering around. "Please, Kenny, you cannot, and I mean CANNOT tell absolutely no one about this! I fucking swear to God, Kenny I will-

"Dude! Calm the fuck down, I'm not gonna tell anyone." He informed me, hands held up in defense. "You've kept my secret, so what makes you think I wont keep yours? In fact I would still keep your secret cuz you're my friend dude." Kenny quickly told me as kindness laced each word, reassuring me.

"Hell…" Kenny continued as he scratched his head trying to filter out what he's going to say next. "I kind of knew about your hard on towards Kyle for a long time now." Kenny admitted which only made my skin lose coloration once again.

"…Uh?…I don't…I mean…what?" I stumble loosing all trace of proper thought.

"I've seen the way you look at him Stan, I'm not fucking blind. I may be the quietest one in our group, but I sure in hell observe all of you, I noticed you've started liking Kyle at least since… oh, I don't know….about grade fucking seven." Kenny stated mockingly really over accentuating his last phrase.

I was at lost for words, I couldn't say a breath of anything even if I forced myself so. Many excruciating silent moments passed as I leaned against the schools fence both hands desperately gripping at my now untamed black hair as Kenny sat on a pavement, elbows resting on his knees and pulled a pack of cigarettes from his backpack and settled one between his lips as he pulled a lighter out his pocket, and lit the lung cancerous stick. We continued to be in silence, already missing the first 20 minutes of our third period class, give our tardiness 10 more minutes then it concludes as an absent. The thought however didn't faze me in the slightest right now.

"Stop freaking out…" Kenny said, finally breaking the thick tension that now polluted the air. "I wont tell anyone dude, I promise." He assured me once again as he took another swig of his cigarette. "…Besides… I think he feels the same way towards you too." He finished coolly as he slightly lifted his chin blowing out puff of smoke.

My face deeply flushed as every single ounce of breath unsteadily escaped my lungs."…what?…" I managed to utter.

At that very instant I might as well have been a new born, it was the only word I knew how to say.


	6. Going Under

_A:N: I'm so sorry for the long update I've recently been working two different waitress positions for the summer, Ulgh! But anyway here we are people my last and final chapter. (tear) please review I really want to know what you guys think/thought on this fic. Oh, and this sort of dream recovering hypnosis/past live thingy to some extent in this fic actually does exist, don't ask me how I know._

_Thanks!_

_(clown hat, curly hair, smiley face!) :-)_

_Evie_

_PLEASE REVIEW_

**Going Under**

Kenny and I were eventually caught 'ditching' from one of the schools security guards. Luckily for us he let us off the hook and merely informed us to get our asses to class. We did what we were told, relieved that I won't get reprimanded from my mother and not that it really matters for Kenny. The rest of the day went by fine, but it felt deathly long. I suppose it was my excitement from what we have planned after school which made my day seem longer then usual.

I wait for Kyle outside the hall after our last and mercifully final class of English. I told Kenny we'd meet him at his house. He had already went home to prepare for the recession, whatever it is. I peek inside the classroom noticing Kyle hastily taking the last few notes of today's lecture. He looks so god damn cute with his studious appearance, his brows so delicately wrinkled, and the unaware adorable pout he does when he mulls over the countless subjects in class and life itself.

Considering today is Friday, Cartman, Kyle and I decided to cancel our study session and continue to efficiently study on Sunday and Monday just in time for the test on Tuesday.

Kyle finally finishes his quick notes and stuffs his binder into his bag and swings it over his shoulder as he quickly walks to my direction.

"You ready?" I asked, as we walked down the hallway, hardly hearing myself speak due to the clamor of voices of the many students that occupied the premises.

I see him nod in agreement and that familiar gleam in his eye appeared as he locked them with mine for a precious moment. We leisurely sauntered into the student parking lot yet our legs carried a trace of eagerness with each step. As we were almost to my car I suddenly hear Eric's voice from the distance.

"Well look at the two dick suckers." I hear Cartman shout in his usual sick fashion he calls humor. "Where are you homos going?"

As much verbal abuse I've put up during the years from the former fat fuck this one comment of his however got to me. My aversion with him reached a level I never felt before. I don't know why, I became transfixed feeling a hot lump in my throat develop. Oh fuck, what the hell's wrong with me?

"None of your god damn business!" Kyle tartly spat, causing Cartman to be slightly taken aback.

Cartman wore his common false look of hurt written all over his face. "Oh, I only asked you a simple question Kyle, do you have sand in your vagina again today?" He finished with that annoying piped fake voice of his.

"Shut up fatass!" Kyle barked back as he crossed his lean arms across his chest. "Go fuck yourself!"

Cartman merely gave his customary glare at Kyle and walked up to us, his brown eyes eventually piercing through the both of us. My brows were wrinkled in anger as usual with Cartman but I still couldn't speak, his earlier comment continued to take effect on me.

"Heh, quite the contrary…you know what? fine! you don't want to tell me where your going? that's cool, but don't ram Kyle's ass too hard this time Stan, I noticed he had trouble sitting today. See you later fags." Cartman finished laughing cruelly to himself as he walked away towards his car.

I felt Kyle's frustration subside the second Cartman sauntered off. "Good, he's off our backs." Kyle mentions with sigh, he turns and look at me and I suppose he noticed the odd stillness that continued to settle.

"…Stan?…Stan, are you alright?" Kyle asks as he places a kind hand onto my shoulder slightly shaking me out of my trance.

I abruptly traced my attention to Kyle. "Uh… yea."

"Are you sure?" He asked once again as more worry consumed his words.

I blinked quickly, attempting to discreetly dry away the subtle moisture that had formed. "…Yea, yea I'm fine." I smiled in reassurance.

Kyle merely quirked a brow, its obvious he didn't believe my statement but he pushed the thought aside. "…Alright." He said, not entirely convinced as we got in my car and headed to Kenny's house. My mind continued to wonder why I specifically reacted the way I did on what just happened all while my heart quickly raced on what Kyle and I will experience at Kenny's.

"Alright so what exactly are we going to do at Kenny's?" Kyle asked as we drove down our standard highway.

"You promise not to laugh? Or be stupid about it?" I warn as I glanced to Kyle however still keeping my primary focus on the road.

"No dude, I wont, I-I promise." Kyle solemnly answered with a grin.

As I we stopped at a red light I looked at him incredulously. "Kyle are you sure, you have to be absolutely sure."

"Yes!" Kyle replied both hands slapping onto his legs with zeal.

"…Alright… what Kenny is going to do is basically…hypnotize us." I informed indifferently as the light signal blinked back to green and I continued my focus to the long road ahead.

"…what?" Kyle says impassively, raising a single brow. "Wait, Kenny knows how to hypnotize people?"

"Yes." I answer back trying to be as casual as I can.

"So…wait a minute…so… Kenny is going to hypnotize us?… and then…and then what?" Kyle asked as he held back temping chuckles.

"Kenny's mom use to work as a hypo-therapist in some psychological clinic way back in the day and she ended up teaching Kenny a few tricks, he's been able to do this for a couple years now."

"Really?" Kyle stated still attempting to digest Kenny's rather interesting ability.

"Yeah dude, he's never told anyone except me because he was afraid people would be complete assholes towards him, and he didn't even feel comfortable telling me then." I enlightened him more as I took a sharp turn onto our childhood block.

Kyle plops his head to the headrest of the seat, mouth ajar. "That's fucking crazy." Kyle murmured. "So he's basically going to hypnotize us to try to retrieve information about our dreams through a… subconscious hypnosis state?" Kyle asked not entirely sure he grasped this new concept.

I have never in my days questioned Kyle's quick intellect. "Exactly."

I continued to drive down the familiar snowy residential street and I can sense Kyle urgency, he tends to fidget with his clothes usually pinching at the denim of his jeans and he occasionally runs a hand through his beautifully deep red locks.

I parked my car right in front of Kenny's house my palms slightly sweaty from nervousness on what he has in store for us and not to mention he's knowingly aware of my long dark hidden secret.

We walk inside, not even bothering to knock since he's parents are not home and he's expecting us anyway.

"Kenny we're here!" Kyle shouts as he tosses his coat on their tattered warn out couch.

"Come to my room!" We hear Kenny reply, fumbling through some things in his room. Kyle and I oddly glanced at one another and walked through the living room into the direction of his room.

I open the door and Kyle and I are openly surprised on what Kenny has set up. The light to his room is switched off and he closed his window curtains and added a blanket over the curtains to surly seal out any trace of the sunlight rays that may seep in. He has lit candles displayed in disarray through out the room a color of varieties, he lit a series of whites, purples, blues, gold and green candles displayed on his dresser, night stand and he even managed to drag in the homemade coffee table from the living room into his room to further present the beautiful colorful lit candles.

"What the hell?" Kyle declared. "Kenny? Are doing a séance?" He asked as he furrowed his brows in a fog of puzzlement.

I sniggered at his statement. "I don't know dude, looks like it."

"No, assholes." Kenny finally said as he was on the floor beside the coffee table lighting a final bright green candle. "I remember my mom telling me I would have to do this since this is not an average hypnosis session." Kenny continued as he swiftly shook the burning match between his fingers to loose its fire. "Oh, and I already assume Stan told you what I'm going to do?" Kenny asked, his focus now on Kyle.

Kyle shrugged. "Yea, pretty much."

Kenny continued to blankly stare at Kyle then glanced at me his expression still vacant "…Good, I don't a have to explain myself" Kenny said with ease and then continued his small lecture with the matter at hand. "Ok, since I have to really get into the subconscious mind where your dreams are most visible I have to have to light different colored candles for effect and motivation of getting there quicker and much deeper."

"…kay?…" I say a little unsurely as Kyle and I sit to a comfortable spot on his now dim lit floor.

"Why is that exactly?" Kyle asked, intrigued with the custom.

Kenny gently sighed and shifted his baby blues trying to decipher the right words to the answer. "Because…because I think…because candles is the oldest use of natural light, candles are spiritual and release a type of…. A type of.. mystical energy to an area. So that's why I think my mom had said to use of different colored candles, it's best approach for this type of hypnosis."

"…oh…" Kyle and I both sigh in unison.

"Alright so who wants to go first?" Kenny asked fully prepared and confident with the caliber he possesses.

"You go Stan." Kyle said with a wild grin, he's obviously excited on what will possibly happen.

"Ok," I smiled back as Kyle's excitement encouraged me so. "What do I do?" I asked Kenny

"Come here and lie comfortably on your back." Kenny motioned with his hand to come to his direction and padded the floor in front of him while he sat in front of the coffee table relaxing his back against it. "Kyle, I'm sorry but you can't be in the same room while I'm doing this." Kenny informed, much to Kyle's dismay.

"What?" Kyle asked clearly not fond of Kenny's request. "Why not?"

Kenny slightly flustered not entirely certain of what to say "Because-because I haven't done this for a while and I get nervous when other people are watching me." Kenny said as he hopped up and walked to over to his nightstand and ruffled through the top drawer. "And besides I want to see how accurate you two really are when recovering the dream." Kenny finished as he took out a notebook and pen from the night stand and walked back to my direction.

"Damn it, fine." Kyle reluctantly obeyed as he stood up. "Where should I go?"

"Go to the kitchen or something just no where near my door or hallway." Kenny informed.

Kyle grudgingly opened the door, before stepping out he turned and looked at me a slight curl curved the end of his lips. "Good luck Stan and thanks Kenny." Kyle mentioned before he walked out and softly shut the door behind him.

"Alright Stan, I just really want to see if you two are as accurate as you really say you are, the reason why I asked him to leave, but when I hypnotize Kyle you can stay in room." Kenny advised me as he positioned himself more comfortably in front of me.

"Oh, ok, that's cool, I understand." I replied completely agreeing with Kenny, he is after all the expert in this unique field.

"Good, now I want you to slowly close your eyes and-

"How do I know if I'm hypnotized or not? What if I'm incapable of becoming hypnotized?" I interrupted with concern and a hint of paranoia.

"Listen Stan, the more retarded you get about this or flip out its not gonna work, you have to first have trust in your self and trust with what I'm doing and trust me it will just come before you know it, and I'm gonna take notes while I'm speaking to you alright?" Kenny assured me in his usual blunt and forward manner.

"…Ok…ok." I induce myself as I get comfortable again.

"Now slowly close your eyes and picture a warm bright light encircling your body…

I hear Kenny's gentle voice pour through my ears as my eyes gradually close, eventually seeing darkness. As I adjusted my eyes to the lighting of the candles it eventually added this spectacular effect with the darkness I was seeing. I finally pictured everything he's telling me in the best detail possible and soon after his voice becomes so soft and warming that I have never truly felt this much invaluable and genuine trust with my friend. I picture the brilliant white, purple, green and orange lights that he tells me to create in my mind they flow through my mind in a tangle of beautiful streams painted with delicate and lazy manners.

And then I'm here… I'm at the very spot where I was running for my life I imminently panic already feeling that familiar knot curse my stomach, my dark affliction.

I then hear Kenny's soft words guide me. "Your not there Stan. You are here safe with me" I hear him say. "Look at this event as a viewer." he tells me.

I do exactly what he asks of me and I look at it as an eyewitness. I suddenly see myself running through the street and sprinting into the dark alley where I will discover Kyle.

I turn into the alley then seeing myself being trapped from the gigantic brick wall that stopped me from going any further. I subsequently see myself looking behind the trash cans inspecting who might be hidden.

Then there is, Kyle, distraught and exhausted. I hugged him and soothed his back as I watched this, I knew I never wanted to let him go.

After continuous soft and calming strokes Kyle and I walked back towards the streets and within a few minutes after our small exchange of words we're running back to the disgusting depths of the garbage cans. I see the 3 men enter the alley and I as I watched I couldn't help but to have a familiarity with one of the guys that I didn't experience in the dream.

"Well look at the two dick suckers." I hear him say in that smug accent of his.

I suddenly feel myself crying, I know exactly what is coming and there is nothing I can do to stop this horrid event that's about to take place.

I hear Kenny's warm voice guide me again. "Your not there Stan, remember your only viewing of what has happened in the past."

Kyle gets stabbed in what felt like seconds and is lying dead in my arms, I tremble at viewing the sight of this, I looked so fucking traumatized and I can feel the boiling rage and distress I carried, its almost unreal.

Then I kissed his pale lips with mine and a trace of his crimson blood settles onto my trembling lips and to the floor beneath me. I see one of the guys coming up from behind me with a knife, I don't remember this in the dream.

He walks quietly and leaned down and sliced the back of my neck as I was endlessly mourning into the chest of my best friend… my love.

I hear Kenny's voice come in again. "Stan, calm down. I want you to release what you just witnessed into a white light. Let go what you just saw into a great white light."

And I do precisely that, letting go of everything all the negative, horrid images and damaging emotions into this warm and welcoming white light.

Kenny directs me on how to easily get out of hypnosis state and I soon realize I'm in the safety of Kenny's room I blink a couple times adjusting to the room now being lit with light switch and adjusting to what I just experienced.

"How do you feel?" Kenny asked as he leaned against his door arms haughtily crossed over his chest .

"Weird… and good at the same time." I replied holding my head trying to figure out what just happened.

"Good, that's what I like to hear." Kenny said with a satisfied smirk. He opened the door and shouted for Kyle to go ahead and come in.

"Now, since I've got the a lot of information from your recession I'm now going to do the exact same thing to Kyle, remember its cool to stay in the room and watch but you cant say a damn word." Kenny cautioned, pointing a strict warning finger to me.

"It's about time your done." Kyle noted as he slipped into the room shutting the behind him.

"What do you mean, it wasn't that long." I commented as I continued to lean most my weight on one arm and the other hand attentively to my head.

"It almost been 2 hours." Kyle replied dumbly.

"Really?" I reacted clearly not influenced.

"Yea dude, its been about 2 hours." Kenny mentions looking at the old alarm clock on his night stand.

"How was it Stan?" Kyle asked eagerly.

"It…it was… it was crazy." I stumbled truthfully as I traced my hand down to the side of my face and wiped my cheeks from the wetness that settled there.

"…Were you crying?" Kyle asked, his eyes held a trace of concern.

"I-I…I guess I was." I responded rather shocked with myself.

"Move Stan and go sit somewhere else it's Kyle's turn." Kenny instructed as he shooed me away. I went and sat against the wall aside the door.

"Since I have information from Stan he can sit here and watch you." Kenny announced as Kyle lied in the same place and position as I was.

"Oh, and I couldn't?" Kyle asked sarcastically as he lied down.

"I have my reasons." Kenny replied.

Kyle didn't say anything and only placed himself trying to contain a deal of his excitement.

I softly curved my lips with the sight of seeing Kyle so thrilled about something, it simply warms my heart up.

"And Stan turn off the light." Kenny said having his note pad and pen ready.

I shoot my hand up and flick the lights off from where I'm sitting, the room resumed the beautiful dimness from the aid of the candles.

"Alright Kyle close your eyes and picture a brilliant white light encircling you…

And Kyle does exactly that.

In about a good 45 minutes, Kyle was under a deep hypnosis state. He looked almost angelic as I watched him while the dim lighting of the candles cast a beautiful hue against his face. However, when Kenny realizes that Kyle is completely 'under' he begins to ask Kyle questions that I don't recall Kenny ever asking me.

Kyle eyes suddenly creased in distress and shifted his body uncomfortably.

"Kyle I want you to see this as a viewer, you not really there, your safe here." Kenny reassured with gentleness carried in his words.

After a few complex minutes Kyle calmed down and was relaxed again, lips slightly parted with ease accompanied with contented breathing.

"How old are you?" Kenny asked his first question.

"…17..."

"Who's there?" Kenny asked as he quickly wrote onto the note pad.

"…Stan, but I lost him." Kyle blankly replied just above a whisper.

"Do you know where he's is?"

"No, I don't." Kyle replied with monotone.

"What year is it Kyle?"

"………1783"

I rapidly caught cold alarming chills running down my spine, my eyes widen and I simply continued to sit there, gaping with utter shock as an unknown light trace of fear settled within me as well; I suppose it surfaced from being shock to such extents.

Kenny was even slightly surprised but sustained his composure and continued jotting down notes.

"And where are you exactly?"

"Hiding behind trash cans…they usually bully us but… there are taking it too far this time." Kyle muttered, wincing at the last statement.

"Who are you talking about." Kenny asked

"Richard, Timothy and…Charles…They go to school with us, they bullied us for liking each other, we got into fights with them all the time."

"Where do you live Kyle?" Kenny inquired, clearly trying to gain as much information.

"…England...a city called…Manchester"

What? Eerie chills continued to run traitorously through my spine and disturbingly evaded the rest of me, I blindly placed a trembling hand to my shoulder and I can certainly feel the goose-bumps sprouting with an almost prickly feeling. That must explain everything, from the houses, area, and the accents, even Kyle's use of England's slang.

Kenny continued. "Were you and Stan intimately involved?"

"…Yes…"

Kenny eyes lingered to his note pad and continued writing down information with determination. "And did everyone know about your relationship?"

"…No, we had to keep it a secret from everyone…my parents…his parents… but some kids at school found out."

"How did those people find out?" Kenny asked eyes holding a trace of wonder.

"…It got obvious after a while…we didn't keep our secret hidden too well." Kyle replied.

"Did you love Stan?" Kenny asked with complete seriousness, I flushed and shoot him an embarrassed laced with anticipation look.

"Yes… and I still do." Kyle replied with no trace of hesitance.

My heart imminently fluttered with pure joy and warmness, I can feel my entire body weakening from the tickling sensation. My God, Kyle I love you too, I always have. Kenny was right after all, he looked to me through the stands of hair that covered his eyes and slightly acknowledged me with a smirk.

"Do you know any of the 3 guys today in you life?" Kenny asked as he diverted his attention back to the deeply hypnotized Kyle.

"…Yes….Eric… Eric was one of them…Eric Cartman was one of the guys… his name use to be…Charles." He answered vacantly.

My mouth hung open as Eric's name was said, it shuddered me to no end as a new set of goose bumps troubled my body.

"….But…" Kyle continued. "He didn't mean it to go that far…. He only wanted to tease us…. Richard….Richard is the one who stabbed me."

"How do you know that?" Kenny asked astounded.

"…Because…after I died…after I left my body… I knew he didn't mean it… I just knew he didn't…he was very mean to us but he never wanted it to go that far."

"Where is Eric right now?" Kenny asked as his eyes continued to knit in astonishment.

"…Stan beat him up… Stan beat him really bad."

Suddenly Kyle begins to silently whimper and soft streams of tears fell from his eyes and traveled down his cheeks and further down the crook of his neck.

"Kyle what is happening right now." Kenny asked raising his voice a level from instinct.

"Richard just stabbed me and Stan comes to my side yelling…he's screaming." Kyle said through tears. "It hurts… ugha, it hurts so bad."

"Kyle, look at this as a viewer, your not in that moment what your feeling happened in the past, start looking as a witness again." Kenny re-informed with care towards his friend.

Kyle let out a shaky breath and eventually calms down, My heart is temping me to go over to Kyle, to comfort him, to hug him and to assure him that everything currently in our lives is ok.

"Kyle let go what you just witnessed into a white light, let it go, let all of the negativity go." Kenny instructed.

I noticed Kyle was tensed and then loosened his body into relaxation. Kenny continued to gradually instruct Kyle to surface carefully from the hypnosis state and back into the heavy demands of reality, which took about a good 30 minutes.

Finally Kyle groggily opens his eyes and lifted himself up and looks around the room in disarray, a light haze of confusion settled in him. "…Stan?" Kyle softly murmured eyes held anxiety and great sense of relief.

I blinked still taking in everything that Kyle had said from the depths of his subconscious mind. I crawled over to Kyle closing in on the short distance that separated us and I tightly wrapped my arms around him. He hugged backed as his face fell onto my chest and my hand slowly rubbed in back in hopes to comfort him.

"It's alright Kyle." I softly say.

Kenny merely looks at me with that usual condescending smirk he possesses and he lifts himself up with his notebook still in hand and walks to door. "Meet me in the kitchen." He says and exits leaving only Kyle and I in the beautifully dim lit room.

I can feel Kyle's heavy breaths warm my chest as I continued to softly rub his back. "Are you alright?" I whispered into his ear.

He slightly nods his head in response. "Yeah, I just feel kinda overwhelmed. I can't believe that really happened… its surreal." Kyle breathlessly said against my chest as I felt his voice vibrate through me.

"Neither can I."

We continue to sit in silence his mere presence and simply holding him close was enough to last a lifetime. Kyle still held me as I maintained my steady strokes along his back, his hot breath against my skin made my own breath quicken as my stomach developed that frequent tender knot.

The transcendental experience we had just both endured, to the silence, to the almost intimate closeness and dim lit setting from the flickering candles that surrounded us encouraged me to do what I've wanted to do for so long. I slowly leaned down letting my mind do what its been aching to do for so many years and I placed a simple kiss on top of Kyle's head through his beautiful mess of dark curls.

Kyle swiftly lifts his head and gazes into me his extraordinary green eyes locked with my now fearful ones.

My conscious mind only realizes then what have I done. Oh fuck, what the hell did I do that for?

My heart feels like its pounding at the outside of my chest as my breath quickens nervously and my head becomes light and fogged with dizziness. In what felt like eternity, Kyle eventually closes the small space between us only causing my heart accelerate more and I clenched my hands together into life gripping fists due to unbearable excitement and tension rolled into this one rare emotion. Then just like in my dreams, he ever so softly pressed his soft lips against mine. My head immediately spins from the contact and as soon as I gain confidence, I mold into the kiss. His lips, dancing tongue and intoxicating scent tossed wave after brilliant wave of utter ecstasy through my body. I run a faint trembling hand thorough his hair enjoying the soft curls slice through my fingers as he as he held me tighter around my neck.

I can't believe this is happening, my best friend for 17 straight years, my other half, my brother, my everything; I'm right now in this very earth stricken moment making out with him and I couldn't be any happier. Kyle slowly unlaces his fingers from around my neck and allows them to softly fall to my chest as he gently broke the kiss for a breath of air.

I look at Kyle through a daze of half lidded eyes trying to register what just happened between us. He smirked at me his brilliant eyes locked with mine in a stunning gaze. "C'mon," Kyle says just above a whisper. "Kenny's waiting for us."

I simply nod my head once, mouth ajar as I attempt to subside the growing tightness in my pants. Kyle gets up first and I'm already missing the warm embrace I had with him. I follow and we casually walk into the kitchen where Kenny's been waiting longer then expected and I couldn't help but to stare at Kyle's ass the whole way there.

"Its about time." Kenny says as he felt our presence enter the kitchen never leaving his focus from the two separate pieces of notebook paper he has before him on the kitchen table. "I suggest you two sit down, its really kinda amazing."

"What is it?" Kyle asked as him and I both take a seat from across the aged and chipped off-white dinner table.

"Let me first ask you two this." Kenny began interlacing his fingers neatly together on the table. "When did you both last have the same dream that started all this?"

"2 nights ago." Kyle and I both say in unison and we both shot our heads to each other and a small curve couldn't help but to tug at the end of my lips.

"…That makes sense." Kenny says putting together the mental missing pieces of the puzzle in his head. "Because both of you said you were 17 when in hypnosis. I think that's why the both of you had the dream at the same time, because you are now both 17 the same age you where when you two where killed exactly 225 years ago; and it was something dramatic that happened in your past whether or not your conscious of it. You both died the same night in the same brutal way in each others arms.

I felt Kyle slightly tense beside me from Kenny's last statement and I eyed him giving him a reassuring look although I was just as tense from the almost eerie things Kenny was telling us.

"In both of your recessions I received the same exact information." Kenny declared eyeing the both of us as his eyebrows lifted in disbelief.

"Wait," I interrupt. "You didn't even ask me any questions like you did Kyle so how are certain it's the same information?" I asked him incredulously as I crossed my arms with pursed lips.

"What are talking about?" Kenny replies bluntly with now a single eyebrow raised. "I did ask you the same questions why the hell do you think it nearly two hours for the both of you? An average hypnosis session does not take that long."

I paused for a moment my mouth slightly parted as a light flush of embarrassment flowed through my cheeks. "But-uh- I don't remember."

"Really?" Kyle says, his voice switching into the higher register when he's usually shocked about something. "I remember everything Kenny had asked me."

Suddenly Kenny's eyes lit up with in what appeared to be an epiphany. "Dude, my mom told me about people like you."

"…What?" I say clearly not on the same page.

"Some people when their under hypnosis don't either remember parts or all of what happened in their hypnosis state." Kenny explained almost astounded at my lack of detailed memory from the hypnosis session.

"Do you remember anything at all?" Kyle asked resting his chin on the palm of his hand his beautiful gaze piercing through me which only made my cheeks flush further.

"Well, yea like when I freaked out and Kenny told to look at everything as a viewer…but that's really it. The whole thing actually is now kinda vague to me." I admit as my eyes linger to the table avoiding both set of stares on me and I begin to chip off a piece of old paint.

"Alright, well I'm about to let you know what you had said." Kenny informed with determination as he picked both pieces of notebook paper and began to professionally read out loud the notes he had jotted down from the realms of our subconscious minds. "Stan when I felt you were deep enough in the hypnotic state I had asked you what year it was and you said 1783 and Kyle you said the same thing."

The familiar uncomfortable chills returned to my body as Kenny recited the information to us. I suddenly felt Kyle's hand grip my thigh probably from the shock he was experiencing with me and I placed my hand on top of his gripping one gently circling a portion with my thumb.

Kenny rubbed an eye with the crook of his palm fighting back any type of weariness that may be settling in and continued. "I had asked you both where you lived and you both said Manchester, England. I had asked who were the three guys and you both said Timothy, Charles and Richard…and you both said Cartman use to be Charles back in the day… this shit is crazy." Kenny finally confesses as he swiftly darts his eyes back and forth form both pieces of notebook paper with wide tiresome eyes. "There is no fucking doubt you two knew each other before this lifetime."

Kenny looked at the both of us that same unbelievable look returned to his features as he lightly studied the both of us. "I always had a feeling about you guys." Kenny said as he held back a yawn an pushed his chair back causing it harshly squeaked on the floor from his weight. "So go ahead and watch TV or something I'm going to sleep and here." Kenny now drowsily said handing us each of our notes from the recession.

Kenny trialed off as he sauntered out of the kitchen once again leaving Kyle and I alone.

We both scanned through our paper then looking and comparing each others and Kenny is right there is no doubt that that we in fact knew each other before we where born into this generation as fucking crazy as that sounds. Kyle and I sat in silence allowing what we just experience digest into our systems.

"…Dude…" Kyle blankly says

"…Dude…" I replied in continuous shock.

"Stan?" Kyle says now looking into my eyes with only a few inches of space between us.

"Yea."

"…You know… I uh- you know that…When I said that I- well you know… during the recession…I said that…I-

I broke the hesitant barrier that clouded my mind and I pressed my lips to Kyle's in a gentle kiss. "I love you too." I replied with a flirty smile.

…

Kyle and I after that day at Kenny's house ended up being happily together and we graduated high school that same year with Kyle graduating with top honors. We ignored the odd stares and didn't mind Cartman's harsh comments and both of our parents didn't seem too surprise of our new founded relationship. When we finally broke it to them they had both admitted that they assumed we have already been together, that honestly made me feel good inside. I was relieved and happy that both set of our parents didn't find it a problem, not that it should be a problem to begin with. We decided to keep everything that happened that day at Kenny's house between the three of us. When college rolled around we decided to room in together and our relationship only continued to grow and stay strong with only stumbling upon small bickering fights that simply made us crave each other more.

We continued to stay in contact with our friends, Kenny decided to follow his mothers footsteps and majored in psychology firstly at Denver community college then he transferred to Colorado State University and he has been happily dating this pretty Cajun girl who moved to Colorado from the deep south of Louisiana named Lillian, and they've been going out for some time.

Kyle and I continued to also keep in contact with Cartman we would all occasionally hang out during our busy college schedules along with Kenny. However, Cartman, just as I predicted got together with Butters during our second year of college. The fatass finally came out of the closet although it was obvious to begin with. He poured his heart out to Butters one night during a 'sleepover' at Cartman's apartment and they've been together since. I remember the day I ran into Butters and Cartman at the local college market and Butters excitedly told me how he and Eric have been together for 3 months. I did admit I was a bit surprised it has been 3 months let alone a single week, I've never pictured Cartman to be the committed type of person.

Eric only stood there face tinted red with embarrassment. Butters claimed he has finally seen Eric for the good person he truly is inside, Eric only feigned a scoff trying look annoyed from his boyfriends sheer joy but I knew Cartman absolutely loved it. Eric still mouths off at Butters one minute and completely adores him the next. Damn, I knew it, I guess that is what life and maturity brings forth to an individual who spent his whole life making other lives miserable it inevitable to change for the better. Cartman has a soul after all.

Kyle ended up majoring and graduation with top honors once again in chemical engineering while I majored and graduated with a degree in English Literature. Kyle and I continued to live together after college and he received a successful job shortly after college performing his developed skill and newly being apart of the Johnson n' Johnson chemical engineering company and I ended up working as college professor for Colorado State University.

We decided to move about 2 years after we found our jobs and saved enough funds to go and purchase a two bedroom house just on the outskirts of Denver. We wanted a formal guest bedroom for when parents or friends wanted to stay over.

Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months, months turned into years. Sparky died at the age of 15 human years and Kyle and I held a small ceremony along with hand picked flowers and private burial ground in our back yard.

Seasons grew old, and sprung to life again, the years flashed before our eyes and yet Kyle and I continued to stay strong, including the close relationships with hold with our families and our the relationships we carry dear with our friends continued to be solid and robust through out the years.

One fatal year during a heavily snowy morning we went to the funeral of Kyle's mother who died of a stroke due to excessive stress as the doctors put it. It was a simple and traditional Jewish funeral held in the Temple Kyle had gone to for so many years of his young life and his father, Gerald died only 3 years later from heart failure.

Many years afterward my father died and then my mother shortly after from severe depression, she caught a contagious sickness that was easy to fight off but she was too broken and deep in the sick realms of utter sadness to fight anything.

If it wasn't for Kyle and I being together through those years I don't know how I would have been able to survive it. I remained strong for Kyle during his years sorrow and he stayed strong during mine.

…

Kyle is unconscious… and I am now sitting in a chair tightly holding his hand from a hospital bed. Kyle's diabetes finally got to the best of him and the doctors say due to his age and blood pressure he might not make it through.

It has been 63 years since that treasured day at Kenny's.

Kyle always checked his blood pressure, took the subscribe medications faithfully and was careful on what he ate. After all that protocol bullshit just to be here slowly dying from the disease that has haunted him since he was 8.

I lean down and place a gentle kiss on his lips, feeling the same sensations I did those many years ago in Kenny's candle lit bedroom. Kyle has aged beautifully through the years his hair is still a beautiful mess of heavy dark set curls with now a handful of white strands that developed in disarray through his hair. The inevitable wrinkles that settled around the eyes and the now noticeable laugh lines suited him, he looked stunning also knowing that I was with him during every one of those surfacing wrinkles. Kyle would tell me that I looked better then I did in high school, which I would completely disagree with. My once raven black hair is now topped with plenty of strands of salt and pepper completion and I aged just as much as he did with the now prominent lines around my eyes and mouth and now obtaining the lack of energy that I surly didn't have 20 years ago.

"…Kyle…" I manage choke, holding back the tempting tears. "I hope you can hear me Kyle. Kyle, I know your strong. I know you can pull through this." I pleaded although I was aware deep down no matter how strong Kyle is his body wont be able to fight off the disease at this rate.

"I love you so much Kyle, I always will." I murmured as hot tears now streamed down my face.

Kyle continues to peacefully lie there, lips slightly parted and his breathing is content from the aid of a needle stuck into the vein of his left arm. I continue to hold Kyle's hand with determination as I softly weep into his chest muttering things even I cant make out. I suddenly feel him shift in movement, my tear stained face shoots up to his and much to my utter joy his eyes are lidded open and I can barely see the beautiful green orbs that use to shine so brightly only 2 weeks ago.

"Kyle." I smile through the joyous tears now streaming down my face in heavy rolls.

He managed a slight tug a his lips and he softly opened his mouth to say something. I immediately cease my tears and look at him eagerly prepared for anything he has to say.

"…I…love… you too." He replied with a weak smile.

I held his hand in mine for hours my head simply lying on his chest enjoying the sweet sounds of his breathing against my ear. The warmth of his body made me slightly forget the state he is currently in. I ended up falling asleep on the chair with his hand still interlaced with mine.

I suppose Kyle flinched or something because and I instantly woke up from my deep slumber immediately diverting all my attention to him, I also took notice it was now 11 pm.

He was sweating. I placed a hand to his forehead and I couldn't believe how warm he was.

_Oh fuck, please no, this cant be happening._

"No Stan, please." He heaves out. "Don't get the nurse." He pleads already responsive of my intentions.

I look at him as if he was crazy. "Kyle but you-

"No," he's able to shout this time from the little strength he has left.

I reluctantly obeyed his wishes, sat back down and held his trembling hand in mine again. "What are you thinking Kyle?" I asked as my vision blurred with new tears.

"I-I.. I don't want… my last-last night with you to be with a crowd full of people." Kyle says with a faint smile.

The tears that settled in my eyes streamed down from his comment. "Don't say that Kyle, please don't say that."

I unwillingly stayed with him never letting go of his frail hand and we stayed up for the remainder of the night as Kyle continued to sweat and heavily breath with discomfort much to my terrible fear. He however continued to insist that I don't contact anyone to come in and help. We talked about our days in high school and our infamous days in the fourth grade. We talked about anything and everything, trying to ignore the horrible things that occupy his body and my painful state as well.

We talked about Kenny and his wife Lillian who now lives in Los Angeles, California. We talked about Cartman and Butters much to our humor who are still to this day together and continues to live in South Park. We then discussed about my sister Shelly and her husband Brandon living in Northern California in small town called Livermore and Ike and his wife Susan who lives in a very nice condo in Denver. We basically talked about everything that happened through the expanse of our lives in as little as 4 hours.

"Stan?" Kyle says, it is now 4:30 in the morning.

"Yes Kyle?" I say as I held his hand to the side of my cheek.

"Promise me you'll be with me again." Kyle said, glistening tears now formed in his eyes.

"Kyle what are you talking about? I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere." I replied, stunned that he would ask me such a thing.

"…No…" He choked. "After-after I'm gone today, I want you to-to be with me again after all this."

It took me a moment and I finally understood what he meant, after our lives come to an end with this generation to met each other again in our next life.

"…I promise Kyle… I promise." I said with the utmost truth as I kissed his hand.

When 5:30 came into play Kyle slowly closed his eyes and when the monitor displayed the flat green line. My heart broke into a million shattered pieces far beyond repair and this colossal heaviness settled onto my chest, a horrible sensation I haven't felt since my parents died. I wept into his chest not caring who heard and I was mournfully aware that his soul has already departed his body.

"I'll be with you again Kyle, I promise." I choked through tears, mourning onto his quiet chest that use to pump with life as I continued to hold his lifeless hand onto my now lifeless one too.

This is frightfully feeling all too familiar.

My tormented mind took over and just like in the unforgettable dream I had those many years ago, I placed a gentle kiss onto his now stiffening pale lips, and I uttered. "…I will be with you again Kyle……I promise… I will be with you again….."


End file.
